Clinical and community psychologist Dr Dianne Douglas is urging parents to take control of their children. Douglas said it must be clear to children who is in control in the homes. In the modern world, she said, parents liked to believe that they were their children’s friends. “As much as we can be their friends, it is important that children understand who the authority is in the home.”
Addressing teachers at the T&T National Council of Parent Teacher Association third biennial parenting conference at Cascadia Hotel, St Ann’s, Douglas spoke at length about family life, stating that in many instances parents are often ruled by their children. Douglas stressed the need for effective discipline by parents. The theme for this year’s conference was “Reigniting Values for the 21st Century Families.”
Douglas blamed entertainers who sing lewd songs, video games and technology—mainly the use of cellphones, laptops and social media—for destroying families. She said children today are exposed to pornography, inappropriate television programmes, and bullying on Facebook. Douglas said the age group 18 to 25 were the fastest to lose their lives, contract HIV, and have children.
“The heightened use of technology has taken the home by storm and is sometimes ravaging our homes because they (parent) are unprepared. Technology is challenging many parents in the home. Technology does not love our children, it does not tell us how to raise our children, it does not put food on the table.” She said parents needed to monitor the laptops which have been given to their children by the Ministry of Education.
“They doing all sorts of things on Facebook. Don’t let no child come and tell you any nonsense that the laptop belongs to them. You signed for them. The last time I checked, they (the children) work nowhere.” The laptops should be placed in an area where the screen can be seen, Douglas said. Douglas also suggested that parents keep their children’s cellphones with them at nights. “You should also visit their bedrooms at nights to check on them.”
She urged the National Parent Teacher Association (NPTA) to launch a campaign to educate parents about the use of technology. Outlining the characteristic of a health family, Douglas said clear roles, goals, prayers, good communication, and having sufficient flexibility and adaptability to develop normal challenges are key. Children today, Douglas said, were not given chores because parents wanted them to excel academically.
She said tertiary level students were so dependent on parents to do everything for them that when they entered the real world, they were unable to function because they lacked life skills. “We drop them in a foreign country and turn our backs and expect them to function.” Douglas said sometimes some of this country’s brightest and best children were forced to return home to see psychologists in order to be reaccepted in universities abroad.